“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”
We open this week’s Afterburn with a shot of the summer nights sky, light still beaming through the clouds above. As the fans inside the School Yard buzz with anticipation for what they’re witnessing, boo’s quickly ring out as the camera lowers and we spot both Reichous Marx and Jake Jeckel; stood together unusually.
Within their grasp is a weapon of choice, for Jake it’s a crowbar and for Reichous, it’s his serpent staph. They stand patiently outside the School Yard doors, guarding it from any intruders.
“I didn’t expect to find you here.” Reichous admits, as shocked to see Jake standing alongside him as we are. They clearly didn’t come together.
Jake whips his head around with a sneer, not for a second keen on any alliance.
“Then you’re as much the fool as I take you for. If you think I’m going to lay down and let Solomon, Azreal or Gabriel Cain take a free shot at me, you’re as stupid as you look.”
That’s Jeckel, never to mince his words.
Reichous though turns slowly to face him, calculated, precise, focused.
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. You should try that some time, Jake,” he says almost poetically. Jeckel turns to face him with a half smile and a nod. “Besides, the book we read from tonight, shares the very same page.”
Both men nod in agreement and step out into the parking lot, their hunt for Azreal and Solomon beginning here tonight.
BRENT KERSH & THE HANGMAN VS. CRASH & GABRIEL CAIN
The odd pairing of Brent Kersh and The Hangman are mulling over who will start this contest, while in the other corner it’s going to be Crash! The crowd is set to go and there’s a pop as we find out it’ll be “The Enforcer” against “The Daredevil” to start things off here. The two men converge as the bell sounds and we have a lock up right away. Kersh easily moves Crash back into the corner and there will be a clean break. “The General Lee of 1-2-3” won’t stop there though and he’s right back at it, locking up again!
Reversal into an arm bar here by Crash. Nice move by the aerial specialist, but “The Enforcer” reverses it right back and SHORT ARM LARIAT! Crash goes down. Kersh with a cover.
That’s all he gets with Crash kicking out with authority and both men quickly working to their feet. They tie up again AND IT’S A SMALL PACKAGE BY CRASH!
SO CLOSE! And the crowd erupts in awe as “The Blockbuster” nearly won the match for his team there. Crash is quick to his feet and quick to his corner where he’ll make a tag to his partner, Gabriel Cain. Cain slips through the ropes and SPRINTS TO KERSH WITH A RUNNING SPEAR! WHAT A MOVE! It wasn’t a knock down, but Cain eventually drags Kersh off his feet and he’ll MAKE A COVER!
That’s all he gets and “The Enforcer” is close enough to reach up to get a tag to The Hangman. “The Head Hunter” climbs into the ring AND HE GRABS CAIN BY THE THROAT!! “CAPITAL PUNISHMENT”!! NO! Cain escapes his grasp. To his feet AND THE HANGMAN WITH A MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE that nearly takes “The Revolutionary’s” head off. The Hangman now drops for a cover.
He’s got ONE …
THAT was close, but Cain is able to slip out the back end. The Hangman lifts Gabriel to his feet and he’ll drive a, NO! Cain ducks a big left and LANDS one of his own.
Cain with another left and there’s a right. Gabriel Cain unloading now on The Hangman. A flurry of fists from every angle, hitting multiple spots. The Hangman is staggered. He stumbles backwards as Gabriel resets and “CROWD CONTROL”! From nowhere and Cain makes the cover.
Gabriel Cain and Crash pull out the victory here on Afterburn against two very formidable opponents!
Mike Lane is skulking around the locker room area, debating what his next move is. Last week he lost against Red River Jack and the subsequent result gives him two options; join The Awakening or watch the love of his life imprisoned.
To make matters worse, Red River Jack, David Manson and Brandon Hate arrive.
“It’s a dilemma isn’t it, man?” Jack asks as he takes a seat on the bench, surrounded by his brothers in arms. “On the one hand, you gotta survive, right? On one hand, it’s all about the Mike Lane brand – the man, the choice of the people,” he says weighing up the options with his hands. “On the other hand, it’s the love of your life, man. It’s the woman of your dreams.”
“Shut up!” Mike yells, storming over to Red only to be stopped by Manson and Hate. “You think you’re so smart, don’t you? You think you hold all the cards!”
Jack stands up, pushing between Hate and Manson to approach him.
“I do hold all the cards, man. Don’t you see it? The whole wide world is watching you, their assigned choice, hoping you’ll do the right thing; cept they don’t even know what that is, man. They’re looking at you, thinking you have all the answers but you don’t even like the questions.”
Mike paces away and comes back.
“Fine, you’ve got what you want, I’ll join The Awakening. I’ll do it.” Mike resigns himself to defeat.
That pleases The Awakening and in particular, Red River Jack. Red wraps his arm around him and pulls him close.
“It’s time to wake up.”
COOTER HAYES VS. MARCUS X
The bell rings as both men begin to exchange rights and lefts, an exchange Hayes quickly gets the better of as he backs Marcus up against the ropes. A big elbow stuns X as Cooter throws him across the ring, attempting a big clothesline. Marcus ducks under, bouncing off the ropes and delivering a clothesline of his own. It staggers Cooter as Marcus delivers a second that sends Hayes down to one knee. X rushes to the rope to attempt a third but just as he turns around, he’s turned inside out by a huge Country Lariat. Cooter pulls Marcus up to his feet, picking him up and driving him to the canvas with a big belly to belly suplex, as Hayes floats over for the cover
Marcus slowly gets to his feet as Cooter backs up, BIG BOO..NO! Marcus ducks under as Cooter hangs himself up on the top rope. X takes advantage, taking Cooter down with a modified Reverse DDT, as the brunt of Cooter’s weight comes down on his left leg. Cooter holds his leg in pain as Marcus takes advantage, rolling Hayes over and locking in a half-crab, causing Country to cry out in pain. Hayes is quickly able to get to the ropes but the damage has been done as Cooter gets to his feet, hobbling right into a massive DDT by X. Marcus drops down, hooking the injured leg for the cover
Cooter slowly gets to his feet as Marcus sizes him up, BLACKOU…NO! Cooter throws him off and as Marcus gets to his feet, he runs right into a huge Lariat. Hayes can’t capitalize however as his knee gives out once again, allowing X to get to his feet and deliver a big Bulldog, driving Country to the mat once more
Marcus begs Country to get to his feet as the big man slowly does, X circling around to his back, TIMES OF CHANGE! The Tazzmission like move is locked in completely as Cooter tries to fight out of it, refusing to tap out but he slowly fades away. The referee calling for the bell as Cooter falls unconscious
The chorus of people begin to sing once more as Marcus gets to his feet, holding his hand high up in the air to the boos from the crowd. Marcus celebrates his victory for a moment before rolling out of the ring and walking to the back.
HERE COMES THE MONEY
There’s a rather large ruckus in the crowd here tonight, the fans cheering loudly and scrambling around manically. The camera closes in to see Pickpocket with a large gray sack, reaching inside and throwing large sums of bills out into the air.
“Don’t rush, thanks to Nigel Royal, there’s plenty to go around.”
Members of the crowd start stuffing their pockets with cash that belongs to Royal, that is until.. GOD SAVE OUR QUEEN blares out into the arena. Nigel storms out onto the entrance ramp with a microphone, screaming.
“STOP IT! STOP IT YOU SON OF A BITCH! THAT’S MY MONEY! IT’S MINE! GIVE IT BACK!”
Nigel paces the entrance ramp in absolute fury, watching as Pickpocket distributes continues to throw out dollar bills.
“I’m afraid that no-one here is going to do that, Nige. I hope you don’t mind but I raided one of your bank accounts. I figure that if your family was too busy taking money from other people to make themselves rich, it’s about time you gave back.”
Stomping his feet and throwing a hissy fit, Royal drops to his knees, at a complete loss.
“I need that for my father.. I need that…..”
One bank account poorer, Pickpocket continues throwing money into the wanting crowd as Nigel looks on dejected from the entrance ramp. How much money does Nigel even have left?
JIMMY SARTYR VS. WILLIE MANSON
Two Englishmen square up in this one. After the initial tie up, Willie Manson wastes no time in trying to put his man away, grabbing the shorts of Sartyr and executing a beautiful T-Bone Suplex, a quick cover follows.
No surprise that the Innovator in Ovation, powers out at one. Still using the near 90 pounds weight advantage, Manson flings his opponent off the ropes, bouncing off the opposite rope he flung Jimmy off, the two meet in the middle of the ring and Willie Manson sends Sartyr spinning with a running clothesline. A determined Manson, covers again.
Again a one count. Relentlessly Manson doesn’t allow his opponent to his feet and sits on top of Jimmy Sartyr. Reigning down punch after punch, at least ten to the head. Getting off his still opponent, Manson jumps up, smug look on his face and taunts the crowd.
The crowd let him know in no uncertain terms how they feel about this brutal beat down of Sartyr. Turning his attention back to the match, picking Sartyr up by his hair, Sartyr half up, Manson throws another punch. BLOCKED, in fact not only blocked but keeping hold of the blocked arm, Jimmy arm wrenches his opponent, ENZIGUIRI….. ARM BAR.
Nowhere to go here for Manson, with every wrench of Willie’s arm, the crowd are getting louder and louder, the support for Sartyr deafening. Unfortunately that is cut short, when Manson managed to reach the bottom rope with his right leg. Releasing the hold immediately, Manson rubs his shoulder, Jimmy wanting to keep up the offence goes to pick his opponent up, LOW BLOW, crumbling to the floor as Manson gets his breathe back. DESPERATION move by Willie Manson.
The referee talking to Willie allows Jimmy to check his crown jewels and regain some composure. The two men trade blows back and forth until eventually Willie Manson gains the upper hand SNAP SUPLEX. Sartyr pops straight back, hes getting his second wind, HALTED with a big running boot which sends Jimmy flying, propped up against the ropes. Manson whips Jimmy into a corner, backing off to the other side of the ring, Manson lines up a big spear…… NOTHING BUT STEEL, SARTYR DODGED LAST MINUTE….. With Manson backed into a turnbuckle broken but standing Jimmy spins him around.
Jimmy Sartyr would not give up here, Manson looked impressive dominating most of the match but you can never count the innovator of ovation out.
ROCK THE BLOCK
In the office of Jackson Slade, he’s sat on a desk with a phone almost attached to his ear. He’s explaining that he has no idea why Solomon and Azreal have attacked Jake Jeckel and Reichous Marx, or why and how Gabriel Cain is involved. When he finally hangs up, he turns his attention to a whole host of men stood in front of him.
Axel The Shark, Marvolo, Willie Manson and Albert Schmitz stand there, sharing their gaze with our Commissioner and each other.
“Gentlemen, I appreciate you taking some time out to meet me here tonight. I know that three of you face off in a Parking Lot Brawl this evening and probably can’t wait to get your hands on each other – though I appreciate you holding off on those urges. In actual fact, that match will come in handy for what comes next,” he says rubbing his hands together. “Because you see, at Block Party, we’ll be having our very own ROCK THE BLOCK match and you’ll be in it.”
“Marvolo doesn’t dance and I refuse to rock any blocks. I’m the best wrestler the world has ever seen. My talents should be-“
“Blah blah blah,” mocks Manson. “You look like a sparklin’ turd! I’ll rock ya block off if ya carry on flappin’ that jaw.”
“Please gentlemen, relax, there’s no need for violence,” Axel says whilst coming between them. “The Sharkheads didn’t come here tonight to see two equally large pieces of chum fight. Besides, as you’ll learn tonight Marvolo, if you get in the water with a shark, you’re gonna get bit!”
“Oh wonderful, who invited the preposterous looking water beast?” Albert chimes in to the chagrin of Axel.
By this time, Jackson Slade has had enough.
“Shut the fuck up, will ya?” he blurts out, causing the fans to erupt into laughter. “Jesus, it’s like listening to kids. You four have a match at Block Party, fighting up and down the streets of Nevada and the winner? He’ll get a shot at the Hardcore Championship. It’s as simple as that. Now if you’ll excuse me?”
He points to the office door, watching all four filter out of it whilst exchanging unkind words. Jackson finally turns to the door behind him that opens cautiously, an older looking man stepping out.
“Well Robert, that’s the rabble you’ll be facing. Are you ready for the challenge?”
‘Robert’ smiles and nods.
“Robert Gordon is always ready.”
Jackson shakes his hand with a big old smile.
“Welcome to Old School Wrestling, Robert.”
ASH VS. PICKPOCKET
Pickpocket approaches Ash, reaches out to shake his right hand.
Ash looks at Pocket’s hand, then looks up at his face.
“Oh, sorry,” replies the Showthief. “Let’s see.” He starts shuffling through endless hidden pockets on the inside of his tattered coat. He drops a pocket watch, clearly not what he is looking for, then he pulls out half a banana. Still not what he is looking for, he tosses it to Buford. Finally, he pulls out a detached mannequin hand. He holds it out to Ash, as if offering a gift.
Ash looks down at the severed hand, smiles, looks up at Pickpocket, and attempts to slap the mischief out of his eyes. He rains left after left at Pocket, backing him into the corner. He hasn’t even had a chance to remove his coat. Ash whips Pocket into the ropes, and as he returns, SPEAR! Ash covers
Ash sits back on his knees. Pocket takes advantage, poking Ash in the eyes. Ash falls back, writhing in pain. Pocket stands, removes his coat. He begins stomping Ash. Ash rolls under the ropes, escaping to the floor. Once out, Buford runs up, baring his teeth. Ash runs around the ring, Buford following. He slides back in, narrowly escaping the primate. As he gets back in he is met by a series of chops to the chest as Pocket unleashes. Ash is driven backwards; it is Pocket’s turn to whip Ash to the ropes. Pocket prepares to attack as Ash returns but….BOOMSTICK!
NO! Pocket kicks out!
Ash pulls Pocket up by his hair. Neither man has much technique as they begin to brawl around the ring. Punches, kicks, spit fly around the ring. Pocket begins to get the upper hand. He gets behind Ash and puts him in a SLEEPER HOLD!
Ash fights to stay awake, gradually sinking to the mat, Pocket going down to the ground with him. Ash looks asleep.
The ref lifts Ash’s arm and drops it to the mat….
NO! His hand stopped just before it hits the mat! Ash begins to battle back! Both men stand….
and Ash kicks Pickpocket in the gut. HAIL TO THE KING!
Ash has done it! He rolls out of the ring and is once again chased by Buford all the way backstage.
THE CROWD PLEASERS
In the backstage area, Bruce Van Chan is looking up and down the halls for Cooter Hayes. He finally finds The Country Boy, playing with a yo-yo and keeping himself occupied. He approaches, amused, a big ol’ smile on his face.
“What are you doing?” Chan asks.
“Have yew ever heard of this? It’s a yo-yo! We ain’t ever have no yo-yo back on the farm.”
Bruce looks perplexed but continues anyway.
“I’ve been thinking about your offer of joining forces as a Tag Team and I accept,” Bruce says with a handshake. Cooter stops with his yo-yo and tosses it to one side as if it were nothing, a big smile creeping across his face. “Well? What do you say?”
Cooter immediately hugs him.
“Let’s go get them tag team titties!” Hayes shouts abruptly.
“You mean titles, right?” Chan says slowly pushing Hayes off of him. “Tag Team Titles?”
“Sure thang man, them too. I was thinkin ‘bout some names fer our team. How’s about’s Country Ying Yang?” Cooter suggests to a frown. “Or Hick Chan Wham?”
Bruce cuts him off, putting a hand up as if to say ‘enough’.
“The Crowd Pleasers, how about that? From what I know about both of us, we love to make the crowd happy and no-one does it better. Hell, we’re the REAL fricken deal!”
“Oh boy, I done love that!” Cooter says as both men begin to walk away from the camera. “I ain’t too sure bout that there cussin’ though.”
“Cussing?” Chan asks quizzically as the scene comes to a close.
JAKE JECKEL VS. MATTHEW CORIES
The bell rings as the Juggalo rushes forward, tackling Cories down to the mat as he begins to rain down punches on the 90’s Guy. A big right knocks Cories for a loop as he’s pulled to his feet, Jake rushing to the ropes and delivering a big European Uppercut, dropping Cories back down to the canvas. Jeckel tries to finish it early as he pulls Cories up to his feet, JUGGALO JACKHA…NO! Cories fights out of it, spinning out of the Suplex and turning it into a spinning neckbreaker. Jake hits the mat hard as Cories hooks the leg for an early cover
Cories pulls Jake up to his feet, throwing him across the ring as he tries for a backdrop. Cories drops his head too early however as Jake drops to his knees, delivering a big uppercut that staggers Cories. Jake quickly gets to his feet, kicking the 90’s Guy in his gut, PONY DOWN! Cories lands hard, clutching his back in pain as Jeckel backs off, running forward and delivering the Faygo Splash to the back of Cories. Jake rolls him over, dropping down for a cover of his own
Cories slowly gets to his feet, throwing a wild right hand which Jake easily ducks under, grabbing Cories by the waist and delivering a German Suplex. Jake holds up, pulling Cories up to his feet and delivering a second. Jake pulls Cories up a second time, trying to complete the Clown-Posse Plex but Cories blocks it, throwing wild elbows to try and break free. Jake lets go, rushing to the ropes as he tries for a clothesline. Cories ducks under, rushing forward as Jeckel turns around
Taking a page out of his tag partners book, his version of the Superman Punch may have not had the same power behind it, but it stuns Jeckel none the less, as the Juggalo drops to one knee. Cories takes advantage, rushing forward once more with a huge Superkick that takes Jake’s head nearly off.
Cories doesn’t cover, instead dragging Jake into the middle of the ring as the crowd begin to roar. The 90’s Guy pulls off an imaginary elbow pad, throwing it to the crowd before rushing to the ropes. He bounces off once, bounces off twice, JUGGABLOW! Out of nowhere, Jeckel manages to low blow Cories, as the opportunistic Jeckel grabs the hurting Cories
HATCHET! It landed flush as Cories is out cold, Jake dropping down into a lazy cover, sure of his victory as the crowd begin to boo
THE TRUTH HURTS
After that match, Jake gets back to his feet and demands a microphone from Paloma Ruiz. She immediately hands it over and backs off, negating her announcing duties for this evening.
“CAIN!” Jeckel yells whilst slightly out of breath. “I know you’re here somewhere, you son of a bitch! I want answers and I want them now,” he continues enraged. “If I have to come back there and get you, you’re not going to make it to Block Party.”
The tron then flickers.
Connecting to OSW Database….
Host source unknown… No IP found…
Feed initialized. Connected
The pixels quickly change from black to the pixelated face of Gabriel Cain – his voice modified, almost computerized.
“Trust you to accuse me of sitting down instead of standing up. I trust that it fits the story you wish to tell, doesn’t it Jake? Gabriel Cain, your nemesis, losing himself in hatred because of you. I hate to disappoint you, but I have not sided with Light & Dark.”
Jake looks on with a shake of the head, still in disbelief.
“I simply saw that their intent wasn’t different from mine and allowed them to proceed. How does that make me responsible? I’m sure the zombies of the world, mindless, roaming, fed lies and purpose, will stand before you and with you, placing blame at my feet.”
He pauses for a moment to listen to the crowd who shout “No!”.
“But there are those with a mind, with a vision, with a purpose of their own accord. They know that I’m here to shut you down, Jake. They know that I need nothing but my right hand and a Crowd Control to put you where you belong; on the shelf. You know that your time is up. You know that I’m coming and that’s why you’ve jumped to the conclusion that I’d sell my soul to the devil for just a single piece of yours.”
Jake mutters to himself.
“You’re wrong and you know it. The truth hurts… and so do I!”
The fans cheer as Jake looks around him, furious. He throws his microphone down in a fit and exits the ring, heading to the backstage with a mind to find Gabriel Cain and so some damage – though he won’t.
He’ll wait for Block Party for that.
SIGN THAT MAN
Fred Sanders comes to a stop, looking like he’d been jogging backstage for a while. “Do you have a TV in your office?” The cameraman zooms out to show who the question was directed towards.
“Of course I do.” The fans cheer in recognition of the deep voice and huge stature of the man in charge, Jackson Slade. “What are you running around for, Fred?”
Still trying to catch his breath, Sanders walks down the corridor. “Looking for you. You’ve got to see this.”
Inside Slade’s office, Sanders flicks through the channels on the wall-mounted TV until stopping on what seems to be the local news. “…and finally, in tonight’s oddest story: people on Twitter are calling it karma, just deserves, and vagabond justice. Last night in a downtown alley, a pair of unidentified assailants were surprised by an unexpected turn of events. The following footage was captured by one of our viewers.”
A pair of teenage males stand to either side of what appears to be a homeless man. One teen shoves the man from behind, sending him stumbling forward into the other male who strikes him square in the jaw. Staggering back a step, the homeless guy flicks his hair back and superkicks the teen who shoved him, knocking him out cold. A spinning heel kick to the remaining teen doubles him over before the bum effortlessly leaps atop a dumpster and lands a perfect moonsault, crumpling teen #2. Stranger yet, the unassuming fellow strikes a Shawn Michaels style squatting and flexing pose before walking away calmly while whistling “Sexy Boy.”
Slade blinks. “Is that for real?”
Sanders chuckles. “Heartbreaking, isn’t it?”
PIG VS. NIGEL ROYAL
Pig goes for the March of the Pigs at the bell but Nigel easily avoids. Royal goes for the Royal Flush, but Pig hooks the ropes to block. Pig quickly spins around for some backhands, but Royal sidesteps and bails out to get away from the psycho.
After being berated on the outside by Luther, Nigel rolls in and they go to the lockup. Pig takes advantage and grinds the headlock, a sneer on his face. Royal sends him off but Pig gets the shoulderblock!
Kickout from Nigel!
Pig manhandles his opponent, and smashes Nigel’s left arm into the top turnbuckle. Pig drops him down and drops a leg on the same arm eliciting a grimace from Royal. Pig works a short arm scissors, but a desperate Royal pull the monster’s hair to try and escape.
A pissed off Pig releases Royal from the hold and mounts him, raining down strikes. Royal is able to get a foot under the ropes, and when Pig stops to listen to Luther telling him to release the hold, Royal rolls over to take the advantage. After a couple shots, Royal gets back to his feet, trying to shake feeling into the left arm.
When Pig gets to his feet, hate in his eyes, Nigel fights back with rights only to get caught in an arm wrench. Pig tries to pull Nigel in for a move, but he escapes with more rights. Royal tries to send Pig across the ring but Pig counters with an arm drag ON THE BAD ARM THAT FLIPS NIGEL!
Pig lifts up his opponent and whips him hard into the turnbuckles. He charges in.
MARCH OF THE PIGS! NO! ROYAL FLUSH FROM NIGEL!
Bringing the match full circle, both men are laid out on the mat. Nigel is stuck holding his left arm, still smarting from the assault from Pig. He tries to roll over after a minute to make the cover.
KICK OUT WITH FORCE!
Pig begins to get to his knees as Royal rains down boots, trying to stop the monster. Every shot seems to make Pig angrier, but Royal is determined to kick his teeth down his throat. Pig makes it to his feet and roars with intensity. Nigel sneers.
The arena goes silent as the slap reverberates throughout the halls.
Before Pig can even react, Nigel swiftly grabs his arm, pulling him down into a crossface.
DUNGEONS OF LONDON!!
Nigel goes to crank back the hold, but his arm is preventing him from locking it in. Instead, Pig is able to power up to his knees, Nigel still vainly trying to hold on to his finishing hold.
Grabbing the hurt left arm as he rises, Pig stretches Nigel behind him into the crucifix position.
THE DAY THE WORLD WENT AWAY!
Pig rises to his feet into the waiting congratulations from Luther as Nigel Royal lays on the mat, a puddle of goop holding his left arm. He put up a great fight, but Pig overpowered his smarts on this night.
In the ever popular parking lot backstage, Jimmy Sartyr is heading towards his car after an interesting match with Willie Manson tonight. He looks through his bag for his keys, lifting his head up to see Pig’s reflection behind him in the car window.
“I’m having one fabulous night, Pig. I hope you’re not here to ruin it.” Sartyr says, turning to face the man who brutalized him last week.
That’s when Luther appears.
“We’ll ruin every single thing you love, do or want, James. I hate you. He HATES you.”
That takes Sartyr aback a little bit.
“My name is Jimmy, you could call me Jim, except I don’t quite think you’ve earned the right. I’ve met a lot of people in my time that took a disliking to me, but hate? That’s a strong word for a man I’ve only encountered once.”
Luther chuckles loudly, lurching his head back.
“You don’t get it, do you? Every single chair shot was delivered with a sickening hatred for you Sartyr. PIG wants to destroy you, he wants to end you, he wants to make you a FOOT NOTE in the history of Old School Wrestling. We’re not in the IWF now and you’re in the way of our success.”
Pig suddenly runs at Jimmy whilst Luther squeals enthusiastically, watching as both men start laying into each other with right and left hands. Security meanwhile come storming out from inside The School Yard, trying to get between them as they brawl.
“GET HIM PIG! GET HIM GOOD!”
The segment comes to a close with both men being pulled apart by security.
BEAUTY AND THE GEEK VS. THE CROWLEY FAMILY
Damien elects Tobias as their legal man. Much to Cayci’s chagrin, the well-meaning Neville insists on facing Tobias. As the bell rings, Tobias reaches into his shabby gear for something – good job patting him down, ref. He pulls out the Neville Sheldon action figure he melted with a blowtorch!
He throws it at Neville’s feet. Sheldon stays cool… until Tobias makes an OBSCENE SEXUAL GESTURE towards Cayci! Lee cackles outside, while a fiery Neville tackles Tobias and rains down on him, until a 4-count forces a break.
Neville goes back for more but eats a back elbow. Tobias subdues The Geek with punishing strikes, ending with a European uppercut. He drags him over to Damien and tags him in.
Both men get a cheap double-team in before Tobias is ordered out. Damien lets Neville crawl towards Cayci before standing on his ankle. Neville swipes at him but Damien kicks him in the face. He picks him up and drops him with a neckbreaker. Cayci tries to drum up support for her partner.
Another tag to Tobias and another cheapshot at Neville as the official grills the Crowleys. The fans rally behind the beaten Underdog. Tobias whips him HARD into the corner, and Neville flips upside-down into a tree of woe! Uh-oh…
Damien distracts the referee, allowing Lee to choke the upside-down Neville as Tobias climbs above him, looking to tear Neville in half. The fans boo at the injustice of it all until –
MISSILE DROPKICK OFF THE APRON BY CAYCI!
Lee flies back OVER the barricade and out of sight to a big pop!
Tobias screams at Cayci, then remembers Neville and goes for his patented top-rope double foot stomp –
NEVILLE UNHOOKS HIMSELF AND ROLLS AWAY!
Tobias stomps nothing but canvas and limps away in pain.
HOT TAG TO CAYCI!
Big pop as Cayci storms in and knock Tobias down! Damien interferes and gets a dropkick – bump after bump as Cayci cleans house!
CHAOS THEORY TO DAMIEN!
Cayci clubs her chest and roars, the fans joining in. She has Tobias in her crosshairs –
LEE CROWLEY RUNS UP BEHIND HER –
NKO AS NEVILLE HEADS HIM OFF!
Cayci watches Neville tell Damien and Lee off as they lay in a pile on the floor. Wait a minute…
Tobias spins Neville round.
CAYCI STEPS IN BETWEEN THEM!
UNFORTUNATE EVENT TO CAYCI!
She took a bullet for Neville, paying him back!
Neville throws a clothesline Tobias’ way, but Crowley ducks under and back-drops Neville over the ropes.
He crawls into a provocative cover on Cayci, but it’s a big mistake – KIMURA LOCK!
Tobias howls and laughs in equal parts, his arm bent at a grotesque angle! Cayci applies even more torque, and, faced with the very real possibility of a broken arm, Tobias has no choice but to tap.
The bell rings and Tobias rolls out to the floor. In the ring, Neville holds out his hand for Cayci, but she climbs to her feet unassisted. They give each other a nod, and Beauty & The Geek celebrate their win, looking ahead to a Tag Team Championship match against Those 90s Guys at Block Party!
The Crowley Family regroup and head to the back, cursing the fan favourites.
FRESH PRINCE STYLE
After that tremendous victory, Neville Sheldon and Cayci Spires celebrate enthusiastically, Neville jumping into her arms for joy. The crowd are on their feet as she lifts him high into the air, dropping him down for a hug..
The sound of “Song #2” by Blur hits the speakers and out walks Matthew Cories, accompanied by tag Team Partner Ash Williams. They both have microphones and head towards the ring, clearly destined to meet with Beauty & The Geek at Block Party.
“Oh you guys, oh.. you.. guys,” Cories says as they enter the ring together. “You’ve not won the Championships yet. You’ve still gotta face the Fresh Prince of Wrestling and The Chosen One at Block Party. Now I know you’re feeling confident at the moment, but between now and then, we’re going to show you how much better we are at everything than you.”
“We are?” Ash interrupts. “Like what?”
Beauty and The Geek kind of have the same response.
“A rap off? Let’s have a rap off!”
There’s no describing the look on Ash’s face as Matthew starts beat boxing down the microphone.
“Everybody out there, get on the couch and crash,
homeboys and homegirls, it’s time for Cories and Ash.
They keep it poppin’ on Afterburn,
so just keep it right here and don’t channel turn.
This ain’t the Hardy Boyz, Steiner Brothers, or E&C.
It’s Ash and Cories, as 90’s as you can be.
Like Favre and Freeman, Carlton and Will,
Jordan and Rodman, Al Gore and Bill,
Sheldon and Spires in trouble!”
The fans roar with cheers, clearly impressed by that.
With Matthew pointing both arms at Ash to finish, he reluctantly agrees.
“Aw, here it goes,
on Old-Old-Old-Old-Old School Wrestling.”
The fans cheer.
Cories holds his microphone and drops it out, looking towards Ash who shrugs, confused. He quickly leans in, grabbing the microphone and dropping his hand with it too. Cayci and Neville meanwhile retrieves microphones from ringside.
“Are you serious?” Spires asks. “After what you did last week, that’s your-“
“I was first in my class at M.I.T,
In Butt kicking, she has a degree.”
Neville’s interruption causes absolute mayhem in the crowd. They’re on their feet, cheering louder than you can ever imagine as Cayci’s mouth gapes.
“Got mad skills in D&D,
And a beautiful partner in Cayci.
You can talk trash all you like,
I’ll pedal past you riding my bike.
What exactly have you ever done?
This guy doesn’t even have a gun,
And you’re afraid cause we’re number one.
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain’t got a boomstick, but I got a soldering gun
Battling us here like kids with crayons
Spires inspires too much chaos-“
Ash Williams wallops poor Neville with a right hand that catches him by surprise, interrupting his amazing flow. The fans are going nuts, shouting, yelling, booing at ringside as Cayci rushes over and knees him in the gut. Mathew is quick to defend his partner and before you know it, we have a massive brawl in the middle of the ring. Neville has finally had enough of being attacked by Williams and grabs him, launching him into the corner.
Be bolts forward and catches him with a knee, beating the holy heck out of him with right hands as the fans cheer. Spires meanwhile has Cories and CHAOS THEORY! SHE NAILS HIM!! Sheldon meanwhile pulls Ash from the corner… STUDY HARD!! A BOOMSTICK OF HIS OWN! JESUS CHRIST, HE JUMPED INTO THAT ONE!
Those 90’s guys roll to the outside and hit the deck with a thud, leaving the fans to roar for Beauty and The Geek. Neville shakes his hand in pain as Cayci checks on him. This match is going to be one hell of a contest for the currently vacant Tag Team Championships!
We head to the backstage area to catch up with The Hangman, who’s walking alone through the corridors. He turns right and heads down a narrow hallway, only for the door to slam behind him.
He walks over and grabs the handle, the door refusing to budge.
Then the lights go out.
Before you know it, creepy plastic dolls start falling from the ceiling, hanging by their necks. The Hangman ducks out of the way, until one finally hits him square in the face. He removes the make shift hood to see the face of the doll staring back at him, a smile carved into its face.
“You can’t put fear into fear itself, Crowley!” he roars with a furious voice. “You cannot frighten me!”
The Hangman starts ripping down the dolls, throwing them to the floor and stomping forwards towards the other door. He arrives finally, snatching at the handle to whip the door open ferociously. Standing outside, he takes a deep breath, almost sneering as he does.
But in the background, Lee can be seen standing at the other end of the now doll occupied corridor, sideways on, two smiles across his face.
When The Hangman looks back, Crowley is gone – only maniacal laughter left to be heard.
PARKING LOT BRAWL
When we arrive in the parking lot for our brawl, our competitors appear to be stood on cars, awaiting the signal from the referee to fight. When that happens, those cars are trashed by grown men running down them into action.
Marvolo whips his glittery cape in the direction of Albert Schmitz, who seems perturbed enough to back off, giving the Marvellous a chance to kick him low with an unforeseen kick to the bollocks. He follows that up with a knuckle sandwich and turns to see Axel The Shark running up the bonnet of a car, attached to the head of Bruce Van Chan and crushing him into the concrete with a Bulldog!
The Shark rolls back to his feet and finds himself face to face with Marvolo, running him backwards onto the bonnet of a car behind them. Only he stops, turning to the camera whilst perched over Marvolo – who’s expecting some kind of punch to the face. “There’s no need for violence, kids.”he proclaims, only for a LOW BLOW by Marvolo to drive home the opposite message.
Axel hovers over The Marvellous in pain, helpless to stop him as he slides out underneath and off the car. He pulls the poor Shark off the bonnet, grabbing him by the mask and pants, spinning him around and THROWING HIM STRAIGHT INTO THE FUCKING WINDSHIELD!!
“HOLY SHIT!” chant the fans back at ringside as Marvolo dusts off his hands.
Don’t forget about BRUCE… VAN… CHAN though, who spins the masked wrestler around, walloping him with a right hand. Chan pulls him close into a DDT like position, only to lift him up like a Fisherman Suplex and DRIVE HIM INTO THE CONCRETE!!
NOW I LAY YOU DOWN TO SLEEP!!
AND MARVOLO IS SNORING ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR! JESUS!
Bruce rolls him over to cover…
ALBERT SCHMITZ SAYS NO! Albert dives in with a double forearm across the back of Chan, breaking up the count. He pulls him back to his feet THE TIME TURNER!! SPINNING SPINEBUSTER! He doesn’t give a Schmit about that! Suddenly though, Axel The Shark is back to his feet, dazed, wobbly and standing on a car. Schmitz turns around to see him, The Shark tapping his head with the straight of his hand, DIVING AT HIM WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE FACE!!
FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM! The flying Sharkbutt to the face takes Schmitz down in a half-second!
Axel has the power now and turns to see Marvolo, who yells at him.
“CHOKESLAM TO THE FACE!”
Only to grab him by the throat, lift him up and CHOKESLAM HIM ON A CAR BONNET!! UH.. TO THE FACE!
But there’s Bruce Van Chan with the ROLL UP!
KICK OUT!! MARVOLO QUICKLY HIGHTAILS IT AWAY!! BRUCE VAN CHAN TURNS AROUND TO SEE SCHMITT.. HE DUCKS A CLOTHESLINE… INVERTED DDT!!! HE COVERS…
HE’S DONE IT! THE CHANNIATOR HAS DONE IT! He rolls away and gets back to his feet, dusting down the cuts and scrapes on his knee’s as he does. The referee raises his hand in celebration, gaining a large cheer from the crowd for his troubles.
That’s how you make a debut if you’re..
BRUCE…. VAN…. CHAN!
Thumbs up pose n’ all.
In the halls backstage, Brent Kersh is understandably looking for his United States Championship. He barges into the locker room of Marcus X and immediately stops in his tracks, his eyes be diverted to a large wall to his left.
He wanders over, almost in a haze.
What about the title? What about Marcus X?
But Brent has other priorities. He immediately turns around and begins to walk towards the door, taking his cell phone out of his pocket, choosing a number and dialling with haste.
“Nicole, get the kids and head out of town,” he frantically says to his wife. She responds, obviously curious about why. “I can’t talk, I just want you out of the way for a few weeks, okay? Leave the farm, head out of town and don’t stop for anything or anyone. I don’t want to know where you are, okay? Just call me when you’re safe.”
She obviously agrees because he hangs up the phone and takes one last look behind him in disgust.
The camera joins him, revealing photographs of Brent’s wife Nicole and their kids plastered across the wall. There’s three enlarged photographs with Black X’s on them, hence the call home. He exits the room and walks away, disturbed, disgusted and afraid for his family.
What the hell is Marcus X planning?
THREE ON THREE
Six men prepared to wage war in our main event and the referee tries with all his might to contain it. Finally the official gains a bit of control and we’ve got Red River Jack and Reichous Marx starting things off. Jack and Marx circle each other- Marx ready to go while Jack patiently studies, looking for weaknesses. But before an ensuing brawl, Jack backs into his corner…
Red River Jack just slapped Mike Lane across the face!! The referee, slightly confused, calls it an official tag! Lane steps through the ropes as he stares down Red River Jack. Next Lane turns his attention to our World Champion- and the Grim greets the People’s Choice with a middle finger salute. Just then Reichous Marx hooks Lane around the waist…
RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!!!
Marx with the cover…
Mike Lane with an early kick out. Both men race to their feet… Lane with a lariat attempt… the Luminary Sage ducks and catches Lane under the arm…
NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX INTO A BRIDGE!!!
Still not enough to keep the People’s Choice down!! Marx hoists Lane up and runs him into his own corner. Reichous reaches his had to King Konstantine for the tag… but KING KO TURNS AWAY!!! KONSTANTINE WON’T MAKE THE TAG!! Marx reaches to The Question and the tag is made. A running knee to Mike Lane’s skull introduces James Hunter to the match. Lane staggers out of the corner and he’s driven to the mat.
MASSIVE DDT BY THE QUESTION!!!!
Hunter doesn’t go for a cover though. Instead he pulls Lane to his feet and goes for an Irish Whip into the corner… but Lane REVERSES sending Hunter into enemy territory. Lane charges and nails The Question with a RUNNING EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!
This time it’s Isaiah Black who just CHOPPED Mike Lane across the side of his face!!! The People’s Choice is sent reeling for a moment and it’s Red River Jack who hooks Lane across the chest and pulls him over the top rope to the outside. Black pulls Hunter out of the corner andTHWACKKKK… swift kick to the back of the knee send the Question to his knees…
REICHOUS MARX MAKES THE SAVE JUST IN TIME!!!
Marx stands and turns but OH MY GOD!!!
OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!! KING KONSTANTINE JUST TURNED MARX INSIDE OUT!!
SEEING RED!!! THIS IS ABSOLUTE CHAOS!! JACK JUST PLANTED KONSTANTINE WITH SEEING RED!!
Konstantine rolls under the bottom rope in a crumpled heap as Red River Jack begins to argue with Walking Death over how to finish this one. Jack goes for a kick to the midsection… Black dodges it… Jack hits his intended target, a risen James Hunter…
SEEING RED!!! SEEING RED!!!
Black rushes Reichous Marx with a CLOTHESLINE!! BOTH MEN TOPPLE OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!
Just as Jack lunges to go for the cover… SHHHHAAAAADDDDDOOOOOWWWWW KIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!
Where in the blue hell did Mike Lane come from???!!!! And The People’s Choice just nailed Red River Jack with a shadow kick before falling on top of The Question…
DING DING DING!!! The bell rings and the referee raises Mike Lane’s hand!!!! Despite his team mates stacking the odds against him, The People’s Choice gains the win and perhaps the upper hand heading towards Block Party!!
THE CHOICES WE MAKE
Mike Lane gets back to his feet and walks straight into Red River Jack who nods at him, apparently proud of the winning effort. Red looks towards Isaiah Black who rolls back into the ring, demanding that he get him.
Lane doesn’t hesitate this time, driving a knee into the back of Isaiah as he tries to get back up. He gets straight back up, stomping the holy hell out of him whilst the fans look on in disbelief.
He’s actually joined The Awakening.
He reaches down and pulls Black up, throwing him into Red River Jack who catches him, spins him and WAKE UP!! HE GOT IT! The Creator rolls straight back to his feet with a smirk and demands that Lane hand him the World Championship.
When he picks it up, the fans roar makes him pause for a moment, staring at the gold.
“Give me my title, man!” Jack can be heard yelling. “Give me it!”
And he does.
As soon as that finishes, we head to the parking garage where there’s a massive ruckus. Azreal and Solomon have apparently arrived and there’s no-one defending the door; only they appear to be exiting, not entering.
And they have someone in hand; It’s Brent Kersh!
They launch Brent through the doors into the parking lot, Solomon kicking him in the head as he tries to get back to his feet. The United States Champion doesn’t know what to do as he’s grabbed by the giant Azreal and launched into the air…
STRAIGHT INTO A WINDSCREEN! JESUS CHRIST!
We go to a splitscreen at ringside, watching as Reichous Marx looks on in shock. He rushes to the backstage as Azreal picks poor Brent Kersh up and POWERBOMB ON THE CAR BONET! WHAT A POWER BOMB!!
They both quickly walk off into the crowded street, leaving him spread out across the vehicle.
It’s then that Marx arrives, absolutely fuming as Afterburn goes off the air.