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A Hunting We Will Go

A Hunting We Will Go

“One of my dad’s hunting friends wanted to get into hunting bears.”

“This dude was fucking nuts, to put it lightly. He claimed to be a championship level hunter capable of killing any animal that crossed his path.”

“In reality, the man was a complete beginner. He only knew the bare essentials of hunting and only managed to add a few ducks to his kill count.”

“To prepare for his hunt, he read up on how to track bears and found one crucial piece of information. Where there’s a bear cub, the mother isn’t too far behind.”

“So he went out to the San Bernardino mountains and started searching for cubs. Within a few hours of searching, he spotted one that was playing by itself in the forest.”

“He proceeded to follow it back to its hideout to find it’s mother, planning on killing her the moment she’s spotted.”

“The problem with that? He was woefully underprepared to deal with her. He might’ve known what to expect, but he lacked the courage and the cunning to take down the mama bear.”

“As for what happened to him? Let’s just say that the family of bears had quite a filling meal that night.”

“You might’ve been listening to me recount that tale and think you’re the mama bear, Chip. Really, you’re more of the crazy, inexperienced hunter that thinks he can bag himself a bear despite lacking a method to take one down.”

“You’ve been following the little bear cub, your rabbit, for quite a while now. He’s gotten you into trouble more often than not and, despite being in the wrong more often than not, you often managed to walk away without a scratch.”

“You butted heads with Chronoa and Kaine, you fucked around with that lunatic Seesaw, and you even squared up against Starboy and TGK. But those guys were measly ducks and not much of a threat to your health and safety.”

“However, Dave has finally led you to mama bear. and she’s one hungry son of a bitch that’s just drooling for her next meal.”

“And guess who that mother bear happens to be?”

“That’s right Chip, I’m that mother bear, and I’m going to rip you apart for even trying to turn me into your latest trophy.”

“You aren’t prepared to handle me. Your little trap failed and you can’t shoot worth a damn, so all you’re left with is your wits. Knowing you, that means you’re fucked.”

“When we meet up in that ring, I’m going to attack like the pissed off bear that you turned me into. I’ll maul you so bad that you won’t even be recognizable anymore.”

“By the time I’m done with you, me and Dave will gorge on your remains and reduce your body to a pile of bones, sending a message to the rest of the wannabe hunters in the back to not fuck with us.”

“I’m a hungry girl, ball grabber. And this hungry girl is going to eat your ass!”