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A Father’s Love

What was it like having a father, Burned Man?

I only ask because of the human you’ve become.

Even though the world turned you into a monster, you still go out of your way and seek Destructo Boy like only a father who truly loves their child can.

You had to learn that from somewhere, from someone.

You had to learn how to be a good father, you had to have some sort of role model to look up to.

You had to have a normal life so you could give your wife and kids a normal life before that tragedy struck them.

Even with the pain that comes from losing them, you still chase the one you have left.

You still chase the way a father should.

You still chase the way mine didn’t…

I don’t even know if he knows I exist, I don’t even have his last name to try and find him.

Balenciaga is only half my story, I don’t even know how the other half begins or ends.

The only thing I know is that he slept with my mother and that fact gives me more questions than answers.

All I know is I’d rather him not know I exist because the alternative is he didn’t want me to.

He didn’t want to go to birthday parties.

He didn’t want to see me graduate.

He didn’t want to even see my wedding.

Every little girl dreams of walking down that aisle, I couldn’t even picture it fully.

I bet your dad watched you smile when you saw your blushing bride.

I bet her dad walked her down.

Look at me and tell me I’m wrong, you can’t.

Now looking back at those times, tell me how it was to have a father.

Tell me how he prepared you to be a dad.

I know you feel like you struggled with Destructo Boy but at least you were there, damn it.

At least you tried.

Even without knowing if he’s dead or alive, you still seek him out.

You still try because you still care.

If I asked would your father do the same, I assume you wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.

It must have felt pretty great to feel loved for who you were.

It must have felt pretty great to have been wanted around.

It must have felt pretty great to be able to make your child feel the same way.

In a lot of ways, I’m jealous, I wish I had a dad like yours.

I wish I didn’t have to scratch and claw for any attention I’ve received.

I wish I didn’t have to work so hard just to get noticed, just to get loved.

I wish I didn’t have to fight for everything I have.

Sure it led me to a good life and now a VHS championship but I would give it all away just to have half the childhood you had.

If you do find Destructo Boy, give him an extra hug for me.

Show him the love I never got to enjoy.

That unconditional love trumps this title easily.

At least let me have this.

Narcissa Balenciaga